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Legal

Legal
Member
Hello people! I'm gonna be bringing out a story every other Sunday. I will post this story on these forums. It's just for fun and to help you all pass the time Smile Halo: Blood Brothers is about a few Marines who are stranded on Installation 04 whilst the Chief plans to destroy it.
Private Michael Rayson and Corporal Demso Abrovidge are two close friends. Martian born Marines who will encounter dilemmas as they struggle to survive on the wrong side of the Installation.
They are Blood Brothers, seperated from their squad, alone.
Their mission is to find their squad and tell them of the secret they discovered that could change the fate of the human race.
An dark evil has returned and wants revenge.

EDIT: I've decided to bring out another chapter whenever I feel like it Smile

Chapter 1
Spoiler:

Chapter 2
Spoiler:

Chapter 3
Spoiler:



Last edited by Legal on Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:51 pm; edited 15 times in total

ghost59

ghost59
Member
cool that what im doing only mouthy

Jony

Jony
Member
I like this Very Happy

BloodBrothers

BloodBrothers
Dev Team
Legal wrote:Hello people! I'm gonna be bringing out a story every other Sunday. I will post this story on these forums. It's just for fun and to help you all pass the time Smile Halo: Blood Brothets is about a few Marines who are stranded on Installation 04 whilst the Chief plans to destroy it.
Private Michael Rayson and Corporal Demso Abrovidge are two close friends. Martian born Marines who will encounter dilemmas as they struggle to survive on the wrong side of the Installation.
They are Blood Brothers, seperated from their squad, alone.
Their mission is to find their squad and tell them of the secret they discovered that could change the fate of the human race.
A dark evil has returned and wants revenge.
Blood Brothers.... Very Happy

https://sovereigngamestudios.forumotion.com/

Jony

Jony
Member
BloodBrothers wrote:
Legal wrote:Hello people! I'm gonna be bringing out a story every other Sunday. I will post this story on these forums. It's just for fun and to help you all pass the time Smile Halo: Blood Brothets is about a few Marines who are stranded on Installation 04 whilst the Chief plans to destroy it.
Private Michael Rayson and Corporal Demso Abrovidge are two close friends. Martian born Marines who will encounter dilemmas as they struggle to survive on the wrong side of the Installation.
They are Blood Brothers, seperated from their squad, alone.
Their mission is to find their squad and tell them of the secret they discovered that could change the fate of the human race.
A dark evil has returned and wants revenge.
Blood Brothers.... Very Happy

Yeah Very Happy

ghost59

ghost59
Member
BloodBrothers wrote:
Legal wrote:Hello people! I'm gonna be bringing out a story every other Sunday. I will post this story on these forums. It's just for fun and to help you all pass the time Smile Halo: Blood Brothets is about a few Marines who are stranded on Installation 04 whilst the Chief plans to destroy it.
Private Michael Rayson and Corporal Demso Abrovidge are two close friends. Martian born Marines who will encounter dilemmas as they struggle to survive on the wrong side of the Installation.
They are Blood Brothers, seperated from their squad, alone.
Their mission is to find their squad and tell them of the secret they discovered that could change the fate of the human race.
A dark evil has returned and wants revenge.
Blood Brothers.... Very Happy
he using ur name Very Happy

Legal

Legal
Member
BloodBrothers wrote:
Legal wrote:Hello people! I'm gonna be bringing out a story every other Sunday. I will post this story on these forums. It's just for fun and to help you all pass the time Smile Halo: Blood Brothets is about a few Marines who are stranded on Installation 04 whilst the Chief plans to destroy it.
Private Michael Rayson and Corporal Demso Abrovidge are two close friends. Martian born Marines who will encounter dilemmas as they struggle to survive on the wrong side of the Installation.
They are Blood Brothers, seperated from their squad, alone.
Their mission is to find their squad and tell them of the secret they discovered that could change the fate of the human race.
A dark evil has returned and wants revenge.
Blood Brothers.... Very Happy
I just love your username so much I had to use it!

G Sgt John Burns


Member
i thought they were quite good apart from a few gramatical errors which im sure are just typos, but other than that it's really good

Legal

Legal
Member
G Sgt John Burns wrote:i thought they were quite good apart from a few gramatical errors which im sure are just typos, but other than that it's really good
Where's the grammatical errors? I'll fix them.

Legal

Legal
Member
Also I'm writing these to improve on my story work. I want to try and get good at this sort of thing.

G Sgt John Burns


Member
it's nothing major , or anything to be too concerned about it's just the one or two times you forgot to either place a comma or use a word in the wrong tense but i can only find like one or two examples of this so you dont really need to worry about it.

Legal

Legal
Member
G Sgt John Burns wrote:it's nothing major , or anything to be too concerned about it's just the one or two times you forgot to either place a comma or use a word in the wrong tense but i can only find like one or two examples of this so you dont really need to worry about it.
Okay XD

G Sgt John Burns


Member
yeah i read it and again it was quite good just like the first 2

Guest


How do they breath if the Energy Sword Pierced through the door? Wouldn't the air poor out of the pod as soon as they jettisoned?

G Sgt John Burns


Member
yeah i was thinking that i just assumed i either miss read it or he forgot to type something/miss typed something

Legal

Legal
Member
LH Justin wrote:How do they breath if the Energy Sword Pierced through the door? Wouldn't the air poor out of the pod as soon as they jettisoned?
I didn't describe that well, in my head I had that the sword left a small mark on the other end but never actually pierced the door.

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